17 September.--Four days and nights of peace. I am getting so strong
again that I hardly know myself. It is as if I had passed through some
long nightmare, and had just awakened to see the beautiful sunshine and feel
the fresh air of the morning around me. I have a dim half remembrance
of long, anxious times of waiting and fearing, darkness in which there
was not even the pain of hope to make present distress more poignant.
And then long spells of oblivion, and the rising back to life as a diver
coming up through a great press of water. Since, however, Dr. Van Helsing
has been with me, all this bad dreaming seems to have passed away.
The noises that used to frighten me out of my wits, the flapping against
the windows, the distant voices which seemed so close to me, the harsh
sounds that came from I know not where and commanded me to do I know
not what, have all ceased. I go to bed now without any fear of sleep.
I do not even try to keep awake. I have grown quite fond of the garlic,
and a boxful arrives for me every day from Haarlem. Tonight Dr. Van
Helsing is going away, as he has to be for a day in Amsterdam.
But I need not be watched. I am well enough to be left alone.
Thank God for Mother's sake, and dear Arthur's, and for all our
friends who have been so kind! I shall not even feel the change,
for last night Dr. Van Helsing slept in his chair a lot of the time.
I found him asleep twice when I awoke. But I did not fear to go
to sleep again, although the boughs or bats or something flapped
almost angrily against the window panes.
THE PALL MALL GAZETTE 18 September.