IN WHAT DISTRESS CANDIDE, CUNEGONDE, AND THE
OLD WOMAN ARRIVE AT CADIZ, AND OF THEIR
EMBARKATION
Who could it be that has robbed me of my moidores and jewels?" exclaimed
Miss Cunegonde, all bathed in tears. "How shall we live? What shall we do?
Where shall I find Inquisitors and Jews who can give me more?"
"Alas!" said the old woman, "I have a shrewd suspicion of a reverend
Franciscan father, who lay last night in the same inn with us at Badajoz.
God forbid I should condemn any one wrongfully, but he came into our
room twice, and he set off in the morning long before us."
"Alas!" said Candide, "Pangloss has often demonstrated to me that the
goods of this world are common to all men, and that everyone has an equal
right to the enjoyment of them; but, not withstanding, according to these
principles, the Franciscan ought to have left us enough to carry us to the
end of our journey. Have you nothing at all left, my dear Miss Cunegonde?"
"Not a maravedi", replied she.
"What is to be done then?" said Candide.
"Sell one of the horses", replied the old woman. "I will get up behind Miss
Cunegonde, though I have only one buttock to ride on, and we shall reach
Cadiz."
In the same inn there was a Benedictine friar, who bought the horse very
cheap. Candide, Cunegonde, and the old woman, after passing through
Lucina, Chellas, and Letrixa, arrived at length at Cadiz. A fleet was then
getting ready, and troops were assembling in order to induce the reverend
fathers, Jesuits of Paraguay, who were accused of having excited one of
the Indian tribes in the neighborhood of the town of the Holy Sacrament, to
revolt against the Kings of Spain and Portugal.
Candide, having been in the Bulgarian service, performed the military
exercise of that nation before the general of this little army with so intrepid
an air, and with such agility and expedition, that he received the command
of a company of foot. Being now made a captain, he embarked with Miss
Cunegonde, the old woman, two valets, and the two Andalusian horses,
which had belonged to the Grand Inquisitor of Portugal.
During their voyage they amused themselves with many profound
reasonings on poor Pangloss's philosophy.
"We are now going into another world, and surely it must be there that
everything is for the best; for I must confess that we have had some little
reason to complain of what passes in ours, both as to the physical and
moral part. Though I have a sincere love for you", said Miss Cunegonde,
"yet I still shudder at the reflection of what I have seen and experienced."
"All will be well", replied Candide, "the sea of this new world is already better
than our European seas: it is smoother, and the winds blow more regularly."
"God grant it", said Cunegonde, "but I have met with such terrible treatment
in this world that I have almost lost all hopes of a better one."
"What murmuring and complaining is here indeed!" cried the old woman. "If
you had suffered half what I have, there might be some reason for it."
Miss Cunegonde could scarce refrain from laughing at the good old woman,
and thought it droll enough to pretend to a greater share of misfortunes than
her own.
"Alas! my good dame", said she, "unless you had been ravished by two
Bulgarians, had received two deep wounds in your belly, had seen two of
your own castles demolished, had lost two fathers, and two mothers, and
seen both of them barbarously murdered before your eyes, and to sum up
all, had two lovers whipped at an auto-da-fe, I cannot see how you could be
more unfortunate than I. Add to this, though born a baroness, and bearing
seventy-two quarterings, I have been reduced to the station of a
cook-wench."
"Miss", replied the old woman, "you do not know my family as yet; but if I
were to show you my posteriors, you would not talk in this manner, but
suspend your judgment." This speech raised a high curiosity in Candide
and Cunegonde; and the old woman continued as follows.