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Candide · Voltaire

Chapter 26

CANDIDE AND MARTIN SUP WITH SIX SHARPERS. WHO

THEY WERE

One evening as Candide, with his attendant Martin, was going to sit down to

supper with some foreigners who lodged in the same inn where they had

taken up their quarters, a man with a face the color of soot came behind

him, and taking him by the arm, said, "Hold yourself in readiness to go

along with us; be sure you do not fail."

Upon this, turning about to see from whom these words came, he beheld

Cacambo. Nothing but the sight of Miss Cunegonde could have given him

greater joy and surprise. He was almost beside himself, and embraced this

dear friend.

"Cunegonde!" said he, "Cunegonde is come with you doubtless! Where,

where is she? Carry me to her this instant, that I may die with joy in her

presence."

"Cunegonde is not here", answered Cacambo; "she is in Constantinople."

"Good heavens! in Constantinople! but no matter if she were in China, I

would fly thither. Quick, quick, dear Cacambo, let us be gone."

"Soft and fair", said Cacambo, "stay till you have supped. I cannot at

present stay to say anything more to you; I am a slave, and my master waits

for me; I must go and attend him at table: but mum! say not a word, only get

your supper, and hold yourself in readiness."

Candide, divided between joy and grief, charmed to have thus met with his

faithful agent again, and surprised to hear he was a slave, his heart

palpitating, his senses confused, but full of the hopes of recovering his dear

Cunegonde, sat down to table with Martin, who beheld all these scenes with

great unconcern, and with six strangers, who had come to spend the

Carnival at Venice.

Cacambo waited at table upon one of those strangers. When supper was

nearly over, he drew near to his master, and whispered in his ear:

"Sire, Your Majesty may go when you please; the ship is ready"; and so

saying he left the room.

The guests, surprised at what they had heard, looked at each other without

speaking a word; when another servant drawing near to his master, in like

manner said, "Sire, Your Majesty's post-chaise is at Padua, and the bark is

ready." The master made him a sign, and he instantly withdrew.

The company all stared at each other again, and the general astonishment

was increased. A third servant then approached another of the strangers,

and said, "Sire, if Your Majesty will be advised by me, you will not make any

longer stay in this place; I will go and get everything ready"; and instantly

disappeared.

Candide and Martin then took it for granted that this was some of the

diversions of the Carnival, and that these were characters in masquerade.

Then a fourth domestic said to the fourth stranger, "Your Majesty may set

off when you please"; saying which, he went away like the rest. A fifth valet

said the same to a fifth master. But the sixth domestic spoke in a different

style to the person on whom he waited, and who sat near to Candide.

"Troth, sir", said he, "they will trust Your Majesty no longer, nor myself

neither; and we may both of us chance to be sent to jail this very night; and

therefore I shall take care of myself, and so adieu."

The servants being all gone, the six strangers, with Candide and Martin,

remained in a profound silence. At length Candide broke it by saying:

"Gentlemen, this is a very singular joke upon my word; how came you all to

be kings? For my part I own frankly, that neither my friend Martin here, nor

myself, have any claim to royalty."

Cacambo's master then began, with great gravity, to deliver himself thus in

Italian:

"I am not joking in the least, my name is Achmet III. I was Grand Sultan for

many years; I dethroned my brother, my nephew dethroned me, my viziers

lost their heads, and I am condemned to end my days in the old seraglio.

My nephew, the Grand Sultan Mahomet, gives me permission to travel

sometimes for my health, and I am come to spend the Carnival at Venice."

A young man who sat by Achmet, spoke next, and said:

"My name is Ivan. I was once Emperor of all the Russians, but was

dethroned in my cradle. My parents were confined, and I was brought up in

a prison, yet I am sometimes allowed to travel, though always with persons

to keep a guard over me, and I come to spend the Carnival at Venice."

The third said:

"I am Charles Edward, King of England; my father has renounced his right

to the throne in my favor. I have fought in defense of my rights, and near a

thousand of my friends have had their hearts taken out of their bodies alive

and thrown in their faces. I have myself been confined in a prison. I am

going to Rome to visit the King, my father, who was dethroned as well as

myself; and my grandfather and I have come to spend the Carnival at

Venice."

The fourth spoke thus:

"I am the King of Poland; the fortune of war has stripped me of my

hereditary dominions. My father experienced the same vicissitudes of fate. I

resign myself to the will of Providence, in the same manner as Sultan

Achmet, the Emperor Ivan, and King Charles Edward, whom God long

preserve; and I have come to spend the Carnival at Venice."

The fifth said:

"I am King of Poland also. I have twice lost my kingdom; but Providence has

given me other dominions, where I have done more good than all the

Sarmatian kings put together were ever able to do on the banks of the

Vistula; I resign myself likewise to Providence; and have come to spend the

Carnival at Venice."

It now came to the sixth monarch's turn to speak. "Gentlemen", said he, "I

am not so great a prince as the rest of you, it is true, but I am, however, a

crowned head. I am Theodore, elected King of Corsica. I have had the title

of Majesty, and am now hardly treated with common civility. I have coined

money, and am not now worth a single ducat. I have had two secretaries,

and am now without a valet. I was once seated on a throne, and since that

have lain upon a truss of straw, in a common jail in London, and I very

much fear I shall meet with the same fate here in Venice, where I came, like

Your Majesties, to divert myself at the Carnival."

The other five Kings listened to this speech with great attention; it excited

their compassion; each of them made the unhappy Theodore a present of

twenty sequins, and Candide gave him a diamond, worth just a hundred

times that sum.

"Who can this private person be", said the five Kings to one another, "who

is able to give, and has actually given, a hundred times as much as any of

us?"

Just as they rose from table, in came four Serene Highnesses, who had

also been stripped of their territories by the fortune of war, and had come to

spend the remainder of the Carnival at Venice. Candide took no manner of

notice of them; for his thoughts were wholly employed on his voyage to

Constantinople, where he intended to go in search of his lovely Miss

Cunegonde.