HOW CANDIDE WAS OBLIGED TO LEAVE THE FAIR
CUNEGONDE AND THE OLD WOMAN
The fair Cunegonde, being thus made acquainted with the history of the old
woman's life and adventures, paid her all the respect and civility due to a
person of her rank and merit. She very readily acceded to her proposal of
engaging the passengers to relate their adventures in their turns, and was at
length, as well as Candide, compelled to acknowledge that the old woman
was in the right.
"It is a thousand pities", said Candide, "that the sage Pangloss should have
been hanged contrary to the custom of an auto-da-fe, for he would have
given us a most admirable lecture on the moral and physical evil which
overspreads the earth and sea; and I think I should have courage enough to
presume to offer (with all due respect) some few objections."
While everyone was reciting his adventures, the ship continued on her way,
and at length arrived at Buenos Ayres, where Cunegonde, Captain
Candide, and the old woman, landed and went to wait upon the governor,
Don Fernando d'Ibaraa y Figueora y Mascarenes y Lampourdos y Souza.
This nobleman carried himself with a haughtiness suitable to a person who
bore so many names. He spoke with the most noble disdain to everyone,
carried his nose so high, strained his voice to such a pitch, assumed so
imperious an air, and stalked with so much loftiness and pride, that
everyone who had the honor of conversing with him was violently tempted to
bastinade His Excellency. He was immoderately fond of women, and Miss
Cunegonde appeared in his eyes a paragon of beauty. The first thing he did
was to ask her if she was not the captain's wife. The air with which he made
this demand alarmed Candide, who did not dare to say he was married to
her, because indeed he was not; neither did he venture to say she was his
sister, because she was not; and though a lie of this nature proved of great
service to one of the ancients, and might possibly be useful to some of the
moderns, yet the purity of his heart would not permit him to violate the truth.
"Miss Cunegonde", replied he, "is to do me the honor to marry me, and we
humbly beseech Your Excellency to condescend to grace the ceremony
with your presence."
Don Fernando d'Ibaraa y Figueora y Mascarenes y Lampourdos y Souza,
twirling his mustachio, and putting on a sarcastic smile, ordered Captain
Candide to go and review his company. The gentle Candide obeyed, and
the Governor was left with Miss Cunegonde. He made her a strong
declaration of love, protesting that he was ready to give her his hand in the
face of the Church, or otherwise, as should appear most agreeable to a
young lady of her prodigious beauty. Cunegonde desired leave to retire a
quarter of an hour to consult the old woman, and determine how she should
proceed.
The old woman gave her the following counsel:
"Miss, you have seventy-two quarterings in your arms, it is true, but you
have not a penny to bless yourself with. It is your own fault if you do not
become the wife of one of the greatest noblemen in South America, with an
exceeding fine mustachio. What business have you to pride yourself upon
an unshaken constancy? You have been outraged by a Bulgarian soldier; a
Jew and an Inquisitor have both tasted of your favors. People take
advantage of misfortunes. I must confess, were I in your place, I should,
without the least scruple, give my hand to the Governor, and thereby make
the fortune of the brave Captain Candide."
While the old woman was thus haranguing, with all the prudence that old
age and experience furnish, a small bark entered the harbor, in which was
an alcayde and his alguazils. Matters had fallen out as follows.
The old woman rightly guessed that the Franciscan with the long sleeves,
was the person who had taken Miss Cunegonde's money and jewels, while
they and Candide were at Badajoz, in their flight from Lisbon. This same
friar attempted to sell some of the diamonds to a jeweler, who presently
knew them to have belonged to the Grand Inquisitor, and stopped them. The
Franciscan, before he was hanged, acknowledged that he had stolen them
and described the persons, and the road they had taken. The flight of
Cunegonde and Candide was already the towntalk. They sent in pursuit of
them to Cadiz; and the vessel which had been sent to make the greater
dispatch, had now reached the port of Buenos Ayres. A report was spread
that an alcayde was going to land, and that he was in pursuit of the
murderers of My Lord, the Inquisitor. The sage old woman immediately saw
what was to be done.
"You cannot run away", said she to Cunegonde, "but you have nothing to
fear; it was not you who killed My Lord Inquisitor: besides, as the Governor
is in love with you, he will not suffer you to be ill-treated; therefore stand
your ground."
Then hurrying away to Candide, she said, "Be gone hence this instant, or
you will be burned alive."
Candide found there was no time to be lost; but how could he part from
Cunegonde, and whither must he fly for shelter?