THE ADVENTURES OF THE OLD WOMAN CONTINUED
Astonished and delighted to hear my native language, and no less surprised
at the young man's words, I told him that there were far greater misfortunes
in the world than what he complained of. And to convince him of it, I gave
him a short history of the horrible disasters that had befallen me; and as
soon as I had finished, fell into a swoon again.
"He carried me in his arms to a neighboring cottage, where he had me put
to bed, procured me something to eat, waited on me with the greatest
attention, comforted me, caressed me, told me that he had never seen
anything so perfectly beautiful as myself, and that he had never so much
regretted the loss of what no one could restore to him.
"'I was born at Naples,' said he, 'where they make eunuchs of thousands of
children every year; some die of the operation; some acquire voices far
beyond the most tuneful of your ladies; and others are sent to govern states
and empires. I underwent this operation very successfully, and was one of
the singers in the Princess of Palestrina's chapel.'
"'How,' cried I, 'in my mother's chapel!'
"'The Princess of Palestrina, your mother!' cried he, bursting into a flood of
tears. 'Is it possible you should be the beautiful young princess whom I had
the care of bringing up till she was six years old, and who at that tender age
promised to be as fair as I now behold you?'
"'I am the same,' I replied. 'My mother lies about a hundred yards from here
cut in pieces and buried under a heap of dead bodies.'
"I then related to him all that had befallen me, and he in return acquainted
me with all his adventures, and how he had been sent to the court of the
King of Morocco by a Christian prince to conclude a treaty with that
monarch; in consequence of which he was to be furnished with military
stores, and ships to destroy the commerce of other Christian governments.
"'I have executed my commission,' said the eunuch; 'I am going to take ship
at Ceuta, and I'll take you along with me to Italy. Ma che sciagura d'essere
senza coglioni!'
"I thanked him with tears of joy, but, not withstanding, instead of taking me
with him to Italy, he carried me to Algiers, and sold me to the Dey of that
province. I had not been long a slave when the plague, which had made the
tour of Africa, Asia, and Europe, broke out at Algiers with redoubled fury.
You have seen an earthquake; but tell me, miss, have you ever had the
plague?"
"Never", answered the young Baroness.
"If you had ever had it", continued the old woman, "you would own an
earthquake was a trifle to it. It is very common in Africa; I was seized with it.
Figure to yourself the distressed condition of the daughter of a Pope, only
fifteen years old, and who in less than three months had felt the miseries of
poverty and slavery; had been debauched almost every day; had beheld her
mother cut into four quarters; had experienced the scourges of famine and
war; and was now dying of the plague at Algiers. I did not, however, die of
it; but my eunuch, and the Dey, and almost the whole seraglio of Algiers,
were swept off.
"As soon as the first fury of this dreadful pestilence was over, a sale was
made of the Dey's slaves. I was purchased by a merchant who carried me
to Tunis. This man sold me to another merchant, who sold me again to
another at Tripoli; from Tripoli I was sold to Alexandria, from Alexandria to
Smyrna, and from Smyrna to Constantinople. After many changes, I at
length became the property of an Aga of the Janissaries, who, soon after I
came into his possession, was ordered away to the defense of Azoff, then
besieged by the Russians.
"The Aga, being very fond of women, took his whole seraglio with him, and
lodged us in a small fort, with two black eunuchs and twenty soldiers for our
guard. Our army made a great slaughter among the Russians; but they soon
returned us the compliment. Azoff was taken by storm, and the enemy
spared neither age, sex, nor condition, but put all to the sword, and laid the
city in ashes. Our little fort alone held out; they resolved to reduce us by
famine. The twenty janissaries, who were left to defend it, had bound
themselves by an oath never to surrender the place. Being reduced to the
extremity of famine, they found themselves obliged to kill our two eunuchs,
and eat them rather than violate their oath. But this horrible repast soon
failing them, they next determined to devour the women.
"We had a very pious and humane man, who gave them a most excellent
sermon on this occasion, exhorting them not to kill us all at once. 'Cut off
only one of the buttocks of each of those ladies,' said he, 'and you will fare
extremely well; if you are under the necessity of having recourse to the
same expedient again, you will find the like supply a few days hence.
Heaven will approve of so charitable an action, and work your deliverance.'
"By the force of this eloquence he easily persuaded them, and all of us
underwent the operation. The man applied the same balsam as they do to
children after circumcision. We were all ready to give up the ghost.
"The Janissaries had scarcely time to finish the repast with which we had
supplied them, when the Russians attacked the place by means of
flat-bottomed boats, and not a single janissary escaped. The Russians paid
no regard to the condition we were in; but there are French surgeons in all
parts of the world, and one of them took us under his care, and cured us. I
shall never forget, while I live, that as soon as my wounds were perfectly
healed he made me certain proposals. In general, he desired us all to be of
a good cheer, assuring us that the like had happened in many sieges; and
that it was perfectly agreeable to the laws of war.
"As soon as my companions were in a condition to walk, they were sent to
Moscow. As for me, I fell to the lot of a Boyard, who put me to work in his
garden, and gave me twenty lashes a day. But this nobleman having about
two years afterwards been broken alive upon the wheel, with about thirty
others, for some court intrigues, I took advantage of the event, and made
my escape. I traveled over a great part of Russia. I was a long time an
innkeeper's servant at Riga, then at Rostock, Wismar, Leipsic, Cassel,
Utrecht, Leyden, The Hague, and Rotterdam. I have grown old in misery
and disgrace, living with only one buttock, and having in perpetual
remembrance that I am a Pope's daughter. I have been a hundred times
upon the point of killing myself, but still I was fond of life. This ridiculous
weakness is, perhaps, one of the dangerous principles implanted in our
nature. For what can be more absurd than to persist in carrying a burden of
which we wish to be eased? to detest, and yet to strive to preserve our
existence? In a word, to caress the serpent that devours us, and hug him
close to our bosoms till he has gnawed into our hearts?
"In the different countries which it has been my fate to traverse, and at the
many inns where I have been a servant, I have observed a prodigious
number of people who held their existence in abhorrence, and yet I never
knew more than twelve who voluntarily put an end to their misery; namely,
three Negroes, four Englishmen, as many Genevese, and a German
professor named Robek. My last place was with the Jew, Don Issachar, who
placed me near your person, my fair lady; to whose fortunes I have
attached myself, and have been more concerned with your adventures than
with my own. I should never have even mentioned the latter to you, had you
not a little piqued me on the head of sufferings; and if it were not customary
to tell stories on board a ship in order to pass away the time.
"In short, my dear miss, I have a great deal of knowledge and experience in
the world, therefore take my advice: divert yourself, and prevail upon each
passenger to tell his story, and if there is one of them all that has not cursed
his existence many times, and said to himself over and over again that he
was the most wretched of mortals, I give you leave to throw me headfirst into
the sea."