CANDIDE AND MARTIN TOUCH UPON THE ENGLISH
COAST. WHAT THEY SEE HERE
Ah Pangloss! Pangloss! ah Martin! ah my dear Miss Cunegonde! What sort
of a world is this?" Thus exclaimed Candide as soon as he got on board the
Dutch ship.
"Why something very foolish, and very abominable", said Martin.
"You are acquainted with England", said Candide; "are they as great fools
in that country as in France?"
"Yes, but in a different manner", answered Martin. "You know that these two
nations are at war about a few acres of barren land in the neighborhood of
Canada, and that they have expended much greater sums in the contest
than all Canada is worth. To say exactly whether there are a greater number
fit to be inhabitants of a madhouse in the one country than the other,
exceeds the limits of my imperfect capacity; I know in general that the
people we are going to visit are of a very dark and gloomy disposition."
As they were chatting thus together they arrived at Portsmouth. The shore
on each side the harbor was lined with a multitude of people, whose eyes
were steadfastly fixed on a lusty man who was kneeling down on the deck of
one of the men-of-war, with something tied before his eyes. Opposite to this
personage stood four soldiers, each of whom shot three bullets into his skull,
with all the composure imaginable; and when it was done, the whole
company went away perfectly well satisfied.
"What the devil is all this for?" said Candide, "and what demon, or foe of
mankind, lords it thus tyrannically over the world?"
He then asked who was that lusty man who had been sent out of the world
with so much ceremony. When he received for answer, that it was an
admiral.
"And pray why do you put your admiral to death?"
"Because he did not put a sufficient number of his fellow creatures to death.
You must know, he had an engagement with a French admiral, and it has
been proved against him that he was not near enough to his antagonist."
"But", replied Candide, "the French admiral must have been as far from
him."
"There is no doubt of that; but in this country it is found requisite, now and
then, to put an admiral to death, in order to encourage the others to fight."
Candide was so shocked at what he saw and heard, that he would not set
foot on shore, but made a bargain with the Dutch skipper (were he even to
rob him like the captain of Surinam) to carry him directly to Venice.
The skipper was ready in two days. They sailed along the coast of France,
and passed within sight of Lisbon, at which Candide trembled. From thence
they proceeded to the Straits, entered the Mediterranean, and at length
arrived at Venice.
"God be praised", said Candide, embracing Martin, "this is the place where
I am to behold my beloved Cunegonde once again. I can confide in
Cacambo, like another self. All is well, all is very well, all is well as possible."